Its been approximately 2 weeks since I've returned home, and I've been avoiding writing this post because it truly is "the end" of my tenure in France as an assistant. I guess I keep hoping that if I put it off, I'll magically return. But I won't.
I spent my final few weeks absorbing every last moment with my friends, eating, drinking, laughing, crying. I'll never forget these people...they're good eggs. I've made lifelong friendships, and have added some new destinations to my "to visit" list (Vancouver, Cape Breton Island, Melbourne). I walked down to sit at the cafés lining Place Stanislas as much as I could. I went to the Pep and sat in the grass, munching last baguettes, pastries, croissants. The city is so alive in spring.
I held my last few classes with my students. I didn't cry (in front of them)...it was more of a celebration of things we've taught each other. About 50 have added me on Facebook (I was apprehensive at first, but the "group block" option is a god-send), and have sent me messages or chatted with me. I don't mind. Its really nice to feel appreciated. Collège La Fontaine (where I live) held a small get-together for me in the teachers' lounge the day before my departure, with champagne and hors-d'oeuvres. Most of the teachers were there, which was great, as it gave me a chance to thank everyone.
And then, like that, I boarded the TGV to Charles de Gaulle airport (seriously, bravo to whoever thought to run that train directly to the airport), boarded my flight and was gone. I held it together (yep, even through the 2.5 hours that my airplane sat at the gate in Paris), until the moment we started to pull back from the gate. Then, everything hit me like a flood: my friends' departures, missing my students, knowing that no matter how many times I came back to France it would never be "like this" ever again, etc. I silently sobbed until my plane was in the air and I could no longer see land.
Through these past two years, I've done so much. I've visited places I never dreamed I would (quick rundown...Year 1: France, Belgium, Netherlands, Switzerland, Luxembourg, England, Scotland, Italy, Vatican City, Monaco...Year 2: France, Turkey, Spain, Morocco, Poland). I've eaten so much good food. I've met some of the craziest, funniest, amazing people. Above all, I've learned so much. My French has vastly improved (I think...I hope), and I've gained so much personally by living in a foreign country. Its been easy, difficult, exhilarating, exhausting, frustrating, rewarding and an experience that has changed my life.
Which brings me to the opening of this post. The lyrics are from Brandi Carlile's song "The Story." Its the best way that I can express my gratitude to you, dear reader, for your support the past two years. Thank you for reading my posts, leaving comments, etc. It means a lot to me because it was a fantastic way to tell my story. Merci mille fois!
This is my last post on this blog for a while/maybe forever. I don't want to abandon writing, as I plan to have many more adventures (restless traveler syndrome), and its a good outlet for me. But I'm not sure if I want to continue under this address, or leave it as is. On verra.
To close, here are a few images from my last moments in Nancy. I can't find a better way to sum up two years other than what the character Jacob, from the show LOST, said in season 5, "It only ends once. Everything else is just progress."
A rainbow over the city
Place Carrière
Place Stanislas
Stan the Man, and city hall (with Russian, British, French, American, Polish flags to celebrate V.E. Day)
Old City, as seen from a Ferris Wheel
Place Stanislas, as seen from a Ferris Wheel
fin
fin
9 comments:
Good song! And I know what you mean about crying on planes.
beautiful entry melissa! good luck with whatever the future holds!
Oh man, I love Brandi Carlile. And I'm pretty much with you on all of this. I sorta fell off the blog world for a bit here, but I was still following your adventures. Thanks for writing and for being a part of my story!
Missy--what a beautiful way to end this adventure. Reading your blogs made me, at times, feel like i was there with you. Even though we were miles away I never felt alone because you always made me come for the ride. Thank you Missy for letting us all join you for this ride. I know that you will have many more adventures and i can't wait for those rides either. It was fun!!!!! It's GREAT to have you back home!!!!!!
I just received my congratulations email from TAPIF on Monday about being accepted to the program in Nancy-Metz. We have already started a group for those who "liked" the French Embassy Teaching Assistant program and marked "Nancy-Metz" as there singular salutation, signaling so much excitement in so few words for those of us also accepted to the region to find. Of course, your last post became the first one I read on hear, and let me tell you, half-way through I was crying. I don't cry hardly ever!!! but, like Eileen just posted, I know EXACTLY what you mean about crying silently on planes. Last year, just as you were ending your time in France, I was ending my 6 month study abroad program in Aix-en-Provence. Rushing, rushing, rushing to my cab at 3:30am for Marseilles with suitcases so big they should not be allowed on the plane ;), I left for the airport. In a daze, I boarded the plane, mostly just thinking about how happy I was that the lady at the baggage check let me rearrange my suitcases in order to not go over the weight limits. But, scrunched between 2 men, an older gentlemen and a distracted businessman no doubt on his way to a conference, I started to silently sob as the plane started floating down the runway. Up, up into the clouds we went, and here I was, tears rolling down my face, both hoping neither would notice but also wanting someone to console me so I could tell them my story at the same time. Armed with a "La Provence" Sunday paper I snatched-up just in time (partly for news, mostly for a memory that I'm looking at on my magnetic board as I type this), I looked out window as we maneuvered our way out of the sight of the Mediterranean and over France's landmass. I remember thinking the same things as you: the people I was going to miss, the things I was never going to do again, the fact that just 6 months prior landing here, I had NO idea the adventure, knowledge, laughter, frustration, and soul mates I would find during my time there--a semester in the Provencal sun. It really does only end once, but now, here I am, 10 months after my return looking at the possibility of returning. Returning to the beauty of a place I originally thought myself would be indifferent to, returning to the European friends that I miss so dearly that hit hurts my heart (the idea of never seeing them again is crippling, really), and returning to a place that was able to give me a little piece of the world for a bit and discover a little piece of myself I never knew existed. Your blog posts says a lot that I can relate to, and I am excited to hopefully be able to accept the opportunity to go, and then maybe I might get to know a little piece of what you called home for 2 years. I would love to be able to ask you some questions if you are still connected to this blog and get this message. So many questions for this Wisconsin graduate (almost!) to ask! If not, I did very much enjoy your post, and more importantly related to it. I'm glad to hear that your life was changed (for the better) because of it, just as I hope mine to be if I can make it work financially. So, for now, je dis 'merci' et 'a bientot.' Bis d'une Badger :)
Wow, one year later and I'm getting new comments! Bethany, I would be MORE than happy to answer any questions you have! Felicitations on your acceptance...its always great to see fellow cheeseheads heading over to France!
That sounds like an amazing life experience
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